Broken dreams

I wish life has a rewind button , if  it has I wouldn't have suffered for two years at my school. It happened one day when my parents are excited to read an news paper Ad of Vidyaa Vikas Educational Institutions. Around 300-500 people got cut-off range from 193.5 to 198.75. Its a competitive world . They wanted me to get a good cut-off like them in the next year.

I got 84% in Maths and 87% in Science in my Xth std. My parents wanted me to study somewhere else but not in my present school NMCMHSS. They had given me  two choices SRV, Rasipuram or VVMHSS , Tiruchengode. I wanted to go Vidyaa Vikas because I had never seen a big school (Its big than my old skool!). We paid around 58k bucks to get into admission at Vidyaa Vikas , Karmadai. I was happy because hostel life is new to me and exciting and being away parent's hold seemed to be a good idea.The Infrastructure was good.

My expectations soon failed in the first few weeks.No wonder 400 people got T.C and left the school in the first month. But I didn't give up because I know I came for a reason .I did my +1 well. I was in the class top ten . It was a matter of pride because I am the top ten after a very long time of my life(the last time I was in top ten was when i was studying kindergarten)

Around August , they started my +2 portions. It was very difficult for me to understand because they hadn't even completed the +1 portions , at least half of it.  My grades begin to decrease. I scored poor in maths in my Quarterly. I complained to my dad that I cant understand. Did he cared? The teacher rushes the subject at the rate a chapter per class.

Some statistics:
   They finish a chapter in one class. The duration of each class is one and half hour. I have two classes of physics , chemistry and maths each day . That makes two chapters of each subject are covered per day.
At hostel: I need two hours to revise a chapter . That makes me 2x6=12hrs to learn. My study time starts at 6 pm , so I have to study till 6 am sacrificing my sleep  and dinner which makes me impossible for this lazy lad.

And so the daily routine continues. The teacher want to cover up the portions so badly , they do skip a lot or say some bullshit which we cant understand and hence makes the class boring . Awww!!(Yawns) , sleep is inevitable . So I don't know what the heck they are doing in the name of teaching. I come to school , eat , sleep and go. My school keep a lot of tests and its obvious I started to fail. I tried to understand but I cant. Reason: I skipped a grade just like that and I am not used to this kinda practice.

Yeah, I got some mental disorders , If I get distracted , its very hard for me to concentrate. Peer pressure , idiotic wardens , tormenting teachers and P.T torture etc disturb me a lot,My disorders got critical and I want to come out of hostel(Still , I cant escape the circus).

Time passed and I became a dunce. I lost all my interest in studies even in my favorite subjects physics and chemistry. The way they teach is SHIT!. If I go and complain it to the management  then no body could save you from getting your butt kicked . I became mentally unstable.

If someone asked me whats my ambition and passion was ? I would say "Automobiles!". Bikes always fantasizes me . Their power to weight ratio etc. You may say every teenager loves bikes and are interested in them but I am a way too far, I wanna build my career out of it.How many of you know what's a DTS-i engine or difference between short stroke and long stroke? And there I made an another mistake.
Yeah! , I am interested in Automotives so my career pathway is studying B.tech mech in an internationally recognized deemed university. Then do my M.S in automotive at RWTH Aachen (My dream) and get placed in world class manufactures like Ducati , Volkswagen etc. This is my mistake. I desired and dreamed where I wanted to be instead of leaving it to my parents and career consultants. This dream is not possible for me studying in this rotten school.

I failed in maths in my board exam. I wish I could have failed in physics and chemistry too so that I can wipe out the marks by writing the exam again. I need 60% in Phy , Chem and Maths to get eligible to apply for  deemed universities.I don't know whether there is an improvement exam, I will be glad to study +2 again and understand it . I think I  am not really a dunce because my I.Q is above average, Our education system suppress our creativity and all they need is good memory . I don't want to be a hard disk , I am like the  RAM.I should have studied somewhere , I should have go against my parents when they put me in this hell.

And now , I am just a loser. I don't know whether the improvement exam exists. My dreams are shattered if i didn't get into deemed colleges. No wonder many students suicide. This government massacres them and the parents to play an important role.Suicidal thoughts? suicide has no value . Come on , how long will they mourn for you ? A week ? A month? then you fade away, But I don't know how much more I can tolerate this. I have to find a way.  Broken dreams? This is my fight , I will fight or Ill die tryin,,,

Is this my education or yours?

Its been a week after my Higher Secondary Results and I have done worse. Yeah , I failed in Maths , I wish I failed in Physics and Chemistry also. Confused ? Welcome to Indian Education System ,(they boast its the best education system and its easier compared to others). I have studied for two years the same book , same question , same answer blah blah blah and yet I fail , so whose is responsible? Its obvious  the blame falls on me. So they ask me to point the reasons why did I didn do well.
  Apart from being lazy , careless etc , I couldn't understand what was I learning for two years ? Its like a cow munching some fodder , we learn but we don know what the heck we are learning about. This is one the unique points of my education system. "We learn daily , but we don't know exactly what ? how ? why? we are learning about."
Education has a totally a different meaning in today's context. Getting an admission in a good college ain't child's play unless you could pay some lakhs and get it . Mech is 12 lakhs , EEE is 7 lakhs , Cse is 5 lakhs.  Education has become much simpler like ordering your meal at a restaurant by looking at the price menu. We can buy seats but not education still. :D if it is also for sale , they would have bought it . And here it goes  "You have money ? Then you can find your son or daughter studying in a reputed college where brainy people only will  study!!"

Meanwhile , Emothic in his physics class.
 Physics sir:  And when the rays fall on it , the photographic plates get affected.
 (Me interrupting)
Me:Sir , What are Photographic plates ?
Physics sir: Errr, it is a kind of special plate for photos...
Me:What sir , I cant understand ?
Physics sir;You ill learn about it in the upcoming chapters , now dont waste my time . I have to complete this lesson within one hour .
Me:(WTF??)Snores :D . Its better to sleep ;D
 Believe me , this is a true incident . Physics is an interesting subject but not my physics class.
Doubts make class interesting ,but in my case  doubts makes the class boring and disturbs my sleeping mates.
Physics and Chemistry were my favorite subject during my Xth grade. But now its the most boring and the subjects I hate the most . Reason: Stupid teachers!!. If a student loses interest in studies , then the studies is a curse to him. I think I have some kinda disorder or something , because I can learn a chapter only after I can understand  it fully. May be I should consult with the doc :( .  My director says studies is like learning to ride a bike , only after some falls you ill understand it . OK fine, but shouldn't you at least teach me whats the throttle , brake , how to sit etc because I keep on falling .

Wake up my friends, we are being ruined in the name of education! How it is possible to study the 12th grade without teaching the 11th grade? I mean then why the hell there should be a 11th grade?  Getting seat in a good college and campus placed and getting in a good job isn't the purpose of education .
Fine

• You skipped the 11th grade ? (Yeah its not important !)
• You mugged up the answers without understanding it (yeah , I have a large memory capacity!)
• You passed in flying colors but still you dont understand the concept and its application?(Ofcourse ! My parents and teachers appreciate me for getting high marks . Who needs the concept?  )
• You get placed in a good college with your marks(This is what I am dreaming for)
• Weren't you interested in mechanical , why did you chose EEE? (Errr, I lost mech seat by 0.5% but EEE is good for me . This college have 100% placement)
• Your grades are low , why?(oh , this subject if full of calculus etc. I didn know it)
• Didn't  you study in your +2?(No , mam says its tough and only one problem will be asked in the board exam , so i skipped it)
• "Poor grades but some how he manages to clear it. He gets placed in an IT company"
• You got placed in IT company?(Yeah! Finally the best moment of my life. My parents are proud of me . I will get a decent salary.)
• But , you are EEE ? IT is totally different (Cool dude , Ill manage .Lets party)
• Hey howz your job?(My job totally sucks man, its nothing related to what I studied. They issued me a warning that I am not doing properly)

• "BAD TIME !! he loses his job after some months .

'This is just an example . I am not pointing out any people or organization".
Do you remember I said "I wish i failed in physics and chemistry also". If i fail , i can write a re-exam and wipe out the previous scores, I don't know whether there is an improvement or not. I m doomed it there is not an improvement .

Summing up, this is our life. We need to plan on our education not your parents or others.  Don't get misled by some career programs . They guy who conducting it may not even be educated . Its just some tricks and brokerage . I remember my dad's friend said"Educational consultant = broker!) Come on , do you care about your education than those idiots care?  Whats your passion . what your style. Work towards it , consult others but don't get misled. Studying and learning are two different things ,Understand the concept , ask yourself why ? how ? .You may think I m just a failure guy who talks too much! Ha Ha  I can start a career program on media. There so many bunch of illiterates who decides our education . You know what am I saying ? Its your life , its your education ! Learn it . Understand it! and you Decide it!

 

Why aren't they like me?

	Why aren't they like me?

I often wonder why aren't the others like me? Why am I always different from them? These things keep buzzing me a lot. I used to think a lot. Ahead  of my age , I don’t know whether this is a boon or a curse for me.The doc says I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which lead to the thoughts. I am basically an introvert.I don’t mingle with other people much.I like to be alone may be because I was left alone.Some say I am not normal , some say I am a psycho , some say I am unique. People laugh at me because I am more different from them but I laugh at them because they are always same to me. When children get in to the teenage, they began to understand emotions which in your ways”Whats love? Whats betrayal? Whats pain? Who is good or bad?”etc..

This happened to me a lot. I got my own words to define each emotions. I don’t believe in God . But I see that people who had belief in  God do more wrong than those who doesn’t. My IQ report says that my intelligence is above normal. I see people of my age going in  their costly bikes and cars bought by the rich dads. Guys having more girl friends,costly phones and gadgets. Boasting that their school is best in town. In my emothic culture, these people are called as “Low-lives!!”

They are living a life that isnt supposed to be real.In the future ofcourse you may see them as corrupted people. What is the purpose of living then? Atleast I appreciate people who had decided the future and career. I guess I can never be like one of them after all!

Welcome!